I Forgive | August 7, 2020 📓
To reflect on lessons learned from others, the most impactful will always be - ”who I am and where I came from.”
To look at oneself in the mirror, and see what the flaws are, realizing that these are flaws set out by society.
Being Old, Going Gray, Obese, Intellectual Sound, but unable to verbalize it..
Then thinking ”What the actual F%#k”
Thinking of life changing events and knowing that the greatest challenge is - forgiveness..
Feeling incomplete, inadequate, inconsistent and imbalanced. Always searching for the meaning of self...these are impacts of not forgiving.
Not forgiving myself - for not being able to save my child in his darkest days..
I haven't been able to say:
”I forgive you Sandra”
”I forgive you Mom of Quinnton Tom”
”I forgive you for trying to survive your sons death by suicide”
So as I laid down, in the quietness of the night, during what is the darkest part of my life..as tears fall like the thunderest rain..
I am learning to say..
I Forgive me...